HEY-O

I’ve been under the radar for a few weeks for good reason. Its been rather a tough go lately life has been handing me whammy’s I think just for entertainment purposes, along the way I’ve experienced a few things & have learned a few things.

1. Depression is an evil bitch that rears her head at the weirdest times.

2. It is the simplest things that can set off the anger monkeys and wreak some serious havoc. I need to stop being so fucking repressed and silent about how I really feel.

3. My step-kid REALLY hates my guts, worse than I ever imagined possible for anyone to hate anyone. I don’t know how much more I can take.

4. I know now what it is like to be chased out of my own home (I’ve since been let back in)

5. I really don’t want to have a wedding.

6. I have about 6 drafts in my wordpress draft bin that will probably never be published

7. I miss my wordpress peeps

8. I’ve been sick for a week (& counting)

All in all I still have that smile on my face despite everything. I miss writing; I miss commenting everyday, this has been the hardest adjustment. Not being HERE every day, however @ work they noticed that I was clicking the keys just a little too frequently and I can’t write from home either. I’m kind of a rock at the moment but I thought I’d pop up and say hi and I miss you. I’m also far too excited about the fact I have a pencil now & I’ve been busy breaking a rule of “no-doodling on work stuff.”

I have to dive back under.

I’M A SUBMARINE!!

SQUEEE!

 

 

Story of my life lately:

 

 

a duck in a box

Art like this was EVERYWHERE

My mom collected ducks and sheep in the eighties. Our house was littered with sheep and ducks in all forms from artisan paintings to large wooden figurines to bronze replica’s; it was mallard duck & sheep central. There was one mallard in particular that I loved because it was smaller than a quarter. I would whisper to it tell it my secret of the moment and hide it back in this little wooden box. I would worry about the duck and check on it rather frequently, making sure it was safe in its little home.

Mallard Invasion

 

Over time I checked on the duck less, months would go by but every now and then I’d check to see if it was still there. As a teen I peeked in maybe once a year, I’d hold the duck, dust him off and then return him again.

At 17 I had my first kid, since I was working and finishing up high school we lived with my parents. I never checked in on the duck for years after he was born. Soon he grew into a toddler and soon I saw him playing with the duck in the box. I smiled to myself at the memories of doing the same thing.

More years passed, this past Christmas I picked up the box and opened it to see my little friend but he wasn’t there anymore. I don’t know where the little mallard went but he is replaced with my daughters secret treasure.

 

Evee’s Park Treasure
May 14 2012

I’m sure over the coming years I’ll see more secret treasures in that box from my little peanuts and one day my grand-peanuts.

 

This post brought to you by the daily prompt and random pebbles.

A.M vs P.M – Uno!

In my endeavors to become ever more awesome and full of shitballs awesomesauce; I’ve decided to join the fun train that TwinDaddy, NotQuiteAlice and Revis Edgewater are doing and start devoting at least one post on Tuesday’s to Music Youtube Tuesdays. Also since I posted a few songs up earlier I decided it was today’s theme day. A first for me.

Sweet Happy Balls!

This morning I was thinking “If I were Han Solo’s Vagina what would I be listening to….” Which lead to me not doing my real job and searching on youtube for songs/videos, I put them all down, went for lunch and came back in an entirely different mood.

Thus AM vs PM with Han Solo’s Vagina is born (fingers crossed for regular installments!)

The Morning Show with Han Solo’s Vagina

Numbah One:

Number Two (HA! Number two!!):

Track 3:

Four Square:

Sink-oh:

 

Fast Forward to this afternoon, I’m full of grub and wanting to kick some serious ass. This vagina’s playlist changed much for the better. Let’s leave this mornings booty shakin behind and get some work done shall we? HA! I thought not! BAD ASS!

After Eats Fight Club with Han Solo’s Vagina

Bitch Slap One:

SuckerPunch Two:

Curb Stompin’ Three:

Four Fisted:

Fifth Right Hook:

AHHHH!!!! After all that I just want to RAWR all the way home tonight, my adrenalin is going I feel like a sweet cross over between Han Solo’s Vagina and Tank Girl right about now. Well,  since I’ve posted the last video before I’ll give you a gem I found while I was searching for songs on my afternoon playlist.

Ahoy thar matey’s!!! Shitballs awesome ahead:

Next week’s installment will have a little more variety…  I was just THAT inspired by Han Solo’s Vagina. Who knew?!

Freak of the Week

Side Note: This song has been replaying over in my head this morning, I feel my fiction fingers starting to itch. I may have to start posting back over at my old blog pineapple flats to satisfy my fingers demands.

“So LoneSheWolf what’s with the freak of the week title up there?”

In the past week I was made fun of because I listen to music made pre-1980’s and I enjoy jazz, punk, metal that kind of thing. Due to my solo music tastes it the reason why I don’t make any music selections for road trips or dinner music. Thus I became the freak of the week so I thought instead of letting it get me down I’ve decided I’m going to be damn proud of it.

So I’ve let my freak flag fly high this week, I’ve put the stereo in my vehicle on max, I’m letting the lyrics soar out of my soul, I’m letting my body shake, sway and take me away from my reality. I’ve been coming home energized, hair tousled from the wind and with that knowing smile.

 I couldn’t let this post go to publish without a little beastie boys action…..

Destination: Utopia

taken by theloneshewolf

Since I’ve never really moved it would seem that my default selection would be where I live now. I grew up here, it’s gorgeous, family orientated, close to cities, blah blah blah. For the most part, yeah I suppose it is the ideal community it is pretty awesome since I live there.

That aside I’ve found a pretty great one that doesn’t exist in the “normal” parameters that define a physical community. It has a general location, it is full of amazing people with all sorts of creative talent, comedic giants, great intellectual depth and genuine sincerity. A lot of this we miss out on in the real world since we are usually zoned out, plugged in or too busy rushing to stop and appreciate these things as they occur in front of us (guilty right here). Besides where else could I have made friends with a kick ass stormtrooper, a sweet dog, and a rarasaur ALL in the same place.

Of course it’s here, and I’m making the most of it.

This post brought to you by the daily prompt and a galaxy far, far away.

It is what we make it and where ever it may be. It’ll always be ours

Big Kahuna’s

TwinDaddy gave me this bad boy right here:

Shitballs Awesome Award!

I am behind on all my other nominations (2 VIB’s and One Epic one) but this one I knew I could blast out  in no time… the rules? Post my ABC’s and nominate!!

First off: Thank you Twin Daddy

Secondly 26 random things about me:

A – Awesomesauce. I’m full of it.

B – Balls, Boobs, Battlefield, Battlestar Gallactica, Books, Banana’s, BAM & Ba-Zing!

C – Coffee Boners  They’re awesome because Kyle and I invented them.

COD – Black Ops, like Battlefield, I play the shit out of it.

Cheeseburgers!! NOM NOM NOM!!!

D – Doctor Who – Time Lord = Bad ass. Nuff said.

E – My name

F – Facepalms – I do them far to often

G –  GoofyGoober, part of my vernacular after too much Spongebob

H – Han Solo with a Vagina = me. Hells yeah!

I – Inquisitive – far too much for my own good.

J – Jam I miss having this with marg on croissants.

K – Kick Ass – I try to but fail. Often.

L – Laughing – Something I enjoy and do every day either myself or making others laugh. Can’t get enough.

Lady Luck – Me again. I visit often. That means I’m also a creeper.

M – Madame Shenanigans… I update my FB status with this name often.

N – NUTS – Love ’em. Especially almonds.

O – All I could think of was the Oblongs.

P – Penis – Spam generators think I need a penis enlargement, which I suppose I would since I don’t have one.

Q – ???

R – Readers. I love ’em all.

S -Shitballs Awesome – Because I am and there is never enough in the world.

Also Smiling – I smile almost all the time.

Sausages – a huge weakness!

Star Wars – Favorite Sunday Past-time

Star Trek – Nightly.

T – Teabagging – I do this in place of dog tagging when I game…somehow it is more ladylike…..with imaginary pixelated balls.

I also enjoy tea. Hell yes.Winning.

Towel – I’ll have mine on international towel day.

U – Uvula – Literally the first word that popped into my head for the letter U. Sesame Street  I am not.

V – Vagina, a word I love to say repeatedly in my mind, and pops in my head when someone says “Regina”

W – Wardrobe Malfunctions – Something I am semi-famous for

X – X Ray – I’ve always wanted x-rays done of my entire body and random parts, lit and hung on my wall. I’m totally fascinated by them.

Y – Your Life is an adventure!

Z – Zanyzanykins. Hi.

My Nominees:

ALL OF YOU!!!! MOOOOOWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

Senses

And sometimes there is a problem being me.

 

In my {short} life I have landed my dream job…… 3 times. Right now I am on the third dream job & I haven’t been here that long, I started in September 2012. I came from a different industry, I have related skills but I still have to start over (again something I am good at.) I made the choice to better our families lifestyle and to put myself on track for great success.

The thing is I know when the end is coming, I felt it twice before; right before getting laid off due to down-sizing. For the past week and a half the feeling returned to me, I queried my boss and he said it was a different clients project had everyone edgy. I smelled a lie.

Yesterday there was a big meeting, the boss asked us to trust him as he gave us the news we are losing our butter client. Being that I am not an engineer, I don’t have a master’s degree, nor am I a vital employee I know my head is on the chopping block. I’m new and I don’t have enough industry knowledge for them to keep me here.

I’m guessing within two weeks I’ll be relying on my networking skills and awkward personality to get something half decent.

I’m absolutely terrified. 

Survival

Somehow against the odds I’ve survived life so far. Being stranded and alone is something I am actually good at, in fact I excel at it. I am not sure how or why but I do. Part of it is just how I am in public, I think I owe a little of my charm to my mom, some of my sincerity to my dad and my smile to them both. That and I believe in the better good of others. Yep, life can hand me a giant pile of shit stew and I’d be smiling about the silver lining.

So the solution is quite easy; in my mysterious location I would head to the nearest gas station and find out what town/city I was in. Thank whomever told me, get to the intersection, pull out my phone and post on WordPress where I was, that I had no money & a very heart felt please help.

 

I know I have the best readers, full of awesome and they would engineer the most amazing adventure for me. I’d be off for coffees boners, crashing on couches, hitting up patios, dining in strange places, screaming off mountaintops, indulging on beer or some wine with conversations trailing off to the wee hours of the morning, Movie marathons, travelling out to a random place for the perfect photo shoot. I’d help you prank your office colleagues  help you prep your garden for spring, make dinner for you, your family and/or friends, engage in epic battles with lightsabers, paint-balling or foamy swords, we’d design & construct tree houses or forts, spend hours making new playlists or mixed tapes (yes tapes), we’d find some strange book nook and search for out of print books, locate a hazy blues bar filled with excellent local talent, sleep under the stars and just go where the wind takes us.

I know eventually I’d make my way home & that in the mean time you’ll keep me safe, after all our lives are an adventure.

 

This post brought to you by the daily prompt and 2am Coffee Boners.

paper bag

Crowds can be known as swarms, mobs, groups, gatherings, sittings, standings. I’ve found myself in all sorts of them; from mosh pits to just another human passing by in a crowded corridor.

I dislike them on elevators when I start thinking of lifting capacities as well as how often elevators are serviced & the quality of the components. Then there are those awesome elevator “agent -orange” style farts when there is only one other person in the elevator with you. Hello Awkward! Back in my bar-star days I was known to freak out followed by hyperventilation when I realized that the fire capacity requirements were surpassed. It also made escapes from Mr. Grope-y stranger dude that much harder to do as well as increased the phantom boob-vagina grabber from being caught. Pass me a paper bag!!

source: USClipdealer.com

They are great in concerts for crowd surfing as well as in malls for people watching. They can set a great energy as well as inspiration for creative outlets (writing; painting etc) as well as for reflection.

At parties if I know people I will mingle about whereas in new environments I become a wall-flower until I’ve gauged the room & find my safe people to introduce myself to before I let my real self come out. Unless I’ve had a sip of booze then the real me is already out there (hello lightweight)

So there you have it; the good, the bad and the awkward.

This post brought to you by the daily prompt and the Letter I

Pancake Post

PANCAKE!

This is my pancake. She is literally the best cat I have ever owned.

She is:

• a bonafide badass,
• she doesn’t scratch the furniture (she still has claws)
• she doesn’t tear up the carpet,
• she poops in one place
• she will come up onto laps on demand.
• She doesn’t attack my kids even when they sit on her
• She’s been trained not to go on the table, counters, beds and pillows
• added bonus 2 hairballs a year…. during molting season.

Best. Cat. Ever.

You’z dizturbz my sleeps for foto? okay. Get my good eye.

This post brought to you by the daily prompt